WE RANK EVERY SURVIVOR EVER

[Jonny "FIGGA" Fairplay]

464: Ghandia Jackson (Thailand): Trying to play the rape card in order to gain sympathy from other people when you've already resolved the issue with the other person just makes for very uncomfortable viewing. The whole argument she gets into in episode 3 is just so weird and it must've been even weirder for those red berets who had to tend to that camp. Screaming and throwing shit at other shit did produce one of my favorite Clay quotes though, so props to her for that I suppose.

"My three year old did that one time, I whooped it's ass and put it back to bed."

[kass]

463: Ashlee Ashby (Palau): The most noteworthy thing about her was that she was on Ulong I think she was vaguely boring and might have whined at points? Kim Mullen did vaguely bitchy young girl on Ulong so much better. I'm genuinely trying to think of something else about Ashlee that I can say. Oh yeah, she spells her name "Ashlee" instead of "Ashley" c'mon now... Palau is a great season but she was not part of the greatness of it. Byeeee

[tbird]

462: John Rocker (SJDS): Why don't you SAY something racist or homophobic like in your past?

[Alina Wilson]

461: Roger Sexton(Amazon): Lol why was he still in this whats wrong with you people

Seriously though he sucked. Homophobic sexist creepy douchekabob. That's about all of his personality traits. What a miserable being

[lexvandenberghe]

I'm invoking the 24/4 rule here.

460. Val Collins (SJSD) - the worst liar in Survivor history. She had so much promise as a character but jut collapsed spectacularly under the pressure. Her only value lay in being motivation for her husband, and that's not enough to justify her as a good character.

[Host Brian]

I think skipping people with no infractions like Jeremiah/Austin is a little harsh, especially due to the lack of time.

459: Yul Kwon (Cook Islands) Yul was a major reason why the season was boring. This is most likely due to the race twist, but Yul tried to be as inoffensive as possible, which made for awful TV. He was such a bland character, and his only fun moment (The elephant line towards Penner) is horribly overrated because it's his only fun moment. Yul's god idol and pet dog Becky guaranteed him F3, and it seemed pretty obvious he was winning a few episodes in. A gamebot with no personality who was clearly winning at the beginning isn't really enjoyable, and while other people are more boring, they didn't last for 14/15 episodes. IDOL'D BY LEX

[Jonny "FIGGA" Fairplay]

459: Tanya Vance (Thailand): Got sick and was voted out second. Not much to her..

[kass]

458: Mookie Lee (Fiji): Boring, had horrible taste in allies (I mean, for fuck's sake, the guy aligned with ROCKY and they were partners in crime or some shit), he found an idol and passed it to ALEX (another bad Fiji cast member). Idk the guy just on the whole seemed really sour and really terrible (I struggle to think of one redeeming moment save not voting Earth Angel Sylvia Kwan out). He and Alex's last stand (or rather, attempt at one) was just gross and when Yau was like "lolk bitch what're you gonna do about it", Mookie was just like "uh...uh...". Yau-ownage strikes again.

[tbird]

457: Brooke Struck (Guatemala): This Sporcle quiz gives you a clue about 300 of the 301 Survivors to play the game from seasons 1-19 (Russell is left out lol). Every single contestant is given an interesting tidbit or at least something vaguely coincidental as a clue to their identity. Seriously, a LOT of thought is put into the clues for this quiz. Every single Survivor from the first 19 seasons has a neat fun fact about them. The clue for Brooke Struck, however, says "Brooke Struck. (...I got nothin' for this one.)"

The only thing I can say about Brooke is that she was the victim of Judd's flip into Stepheme's inner circle. Brooke had nothing to do with this, and was simply a warm body for Judd to betray. Otherwise, she is only remarkable for being so forgettable. This is the end of Brooke's writeup.

[Eliza Orlins]

Other people have gone twice since the last time I went, sooo...

456: Rebecca Borman. (Cook Islands)

She's got "bore" right in her name. I can't remember a thing she did except for her round one confessional where she pointed out that black people are capable of basic anatomical functions, the same as the rest of humanity. Plus, I don't think she's that good at her job - every time I see a clip from the View, Elisabeth looks like she got into a makeup fight with Nicki Minaj and lost. 

[lexvandenberghe]

I'm idoling Yul.

[Host Jeremiah]

455: Mikayla Wingle (South Pacific):

The only good thing she really gave us is that scene where Brandon is creeping on her and you can only see his eyes through some leaves. Other than that...not much. She was a victim of Lil Hantz, which is sad, but not much substance to a character.

[Alina Wilson]

Well, I keep thinking I'm cutting, then I pass out and wake up and realize, oh, hey, I didn't cut!

454: Paschal English(Marquesas) Possibly controversial??? but from what I remember this guy was a legit creepazoid. Like, I legit remember him saying VERY CREEPY VERY CLOSE TO FULL BLOWN RACISM shit all the time. I could be imaginging it but I googled it and confirmed that he actually said that stuff and um...yeah, I'm not here for that. Sry. Also wasn't he involved in some creepy sex scandal with a defender or something? Like...bye. IDOL'D BY LEX.

[Host Brian]

[lexvandenberghe]

I'm sorry, but if OJ can kill two people and stay in the Hall of Fame, then Paschal can be a creepy old man and make it a lot farther than this. Idol'd.