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Post by Jonny "FIGGA" Fairplay on May 27, 2015 1:17:11 GMT
49. Robbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb Zbacnic (Thailand): I'll do a write up when I'm not in the middle of a quiz challenge looooooool
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Post by Host Brian on May 27, 2015 20:01:12 GMT
Google Doc is all updated n stuff. Sorry for the delay.
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kass
Prediction Writer
Posts: 105 
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Post by kass on May 27, 2015 20:09:51 GMT
49. Lex Van de Berghe (Africa): Remember when T-Bird ended his life? Remember when Kelly Goldsmith was brutally slain by Lex because she was too iconic for him to handle? I remember, Zoe Zanidakis remembers. That being said, Lex was a paranoid dickweed in Africa but still made for riveting television. Kim J. owning him at the FIC and taking his ass out was beautiful. So yeah. Good for you Lex. Top 50 is nothing to be ashamed of.
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tbird
Prediction Writer
Posts: 165
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Post by tbird on May 28, 2015 21:07:34 GMT
Jesus Christ who do I pick?
48. Sean Kenniff (Borneo):
"Sean is not in the alliance, because Sean is dumb."
With that one line, Sue Hawk summed up everything you needed to know about Sean in Borneo. He was the original doofus. The original person who made you want to scream at your TV and shake him by his pierced nipples until he got some sense knocked into him. Doctor Sean clearly went into the show wanting to be the hero. He wanted to be beloved by America. The problem is that Sean is ... dumb. He makes Superpole 2000, which is really just a long piece of bamboo with a string on the end, because Sean is too dumb to understand how fishing works. This is the side dish to the main course of idiocy Sean served up once a week for fifty million viewers, or however many watched the first season.
You can't talk about Sean without talking about how Sean votes. First of all, like I said, Sean wants to be the hero. He does not want to be the person that ends anybody's game, because he feels that this could cause a black mark on his reputation; so he develops the alphabet strategy, because Sean is dumb. He brags up and down how this is the fairest way to do things; this misconception is amplified when Gervase wins immunity the episode that Sean would have voted for him. Gervase's win becomes something for Sean to point at and say "See! It's so fair! You can save yourself by winning immunity! It's so perf u guys!" Meanwhile everyone around him recognizes this strategy for the spineless, mindless, copout of a plan that it is, but Sean is too oblivious to notice how his attempts to remain heroic have backfired and made everybody in the game lose whatever respect they might have had for him. Because ... Sean is dumb.
Second, Sean is oblivious to the four person alliance sitting right under his nose and running the game. Richard, Kelly, Rudy, and Sue vote out Dirk before Sean's eyes, which doesn't make sense to him, but hey whatever man. Then at the merge, they vote out Gretchen in the greatest Tribal Council ever. Afterward, Sean throws out the greatest line ever when he says "There was no reason, other than strategy, to vote for Gretchen" which just ... god I'm crying at the beauty of that line. Still, Sean is unconvinced there's an alliance, even when the rest of the Tagis pile onto the Greg vote that Sean advertises up and down the beach after Gervase wins immunity. (Sidenote: Jenna Lewis also votes for Greg at this TC, which is bizarre to me.)
Then we reach the infamous J for Jenna vote. Jenna, Colleen, and Gervase BEG Sean for 3 days not to be an idiot and throw all four of their games away because he's too much of a pussy to stand for anything. Sean however is still convinced there is not a Tagi alliance and still married to his alphabet strategy. He swears up and down that Jenna will not receive a single other vote at Tribal Council that night ... oops. After Jenna leaves to go shoot some home movies, Sean realizes he's fucked up, but it's too late. The rest of the Tagis have successfully taken over, and the next three votes are clear as day, barring some K-Wig waffling. At the end of the day Sean ruins the season for Pagong and anyone rooting for Pagong (aka "All of America") because Sean ... is dumb.
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Austin
Prediction Writer
Posts: 139 
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Post by Austin on May 28, 2015 22:02:10 GMT
Jesus Christ who do I pick? 48. Sean Kenniff (Borneo): "Sean is not in the alliance, because Sean is dumb." With that one line, Sue Hawk summed up everything you needed to know about Sean in Borneo. He was the original doofus. The original person who made you want to scream at your TV and shake him by his pierced nipples until he got some sense knocked into him. Doctor Sean clearly went into the show wanting to be the hero. He wanted to be beloved by America. The problem is that Sean is ... dumb. He makes Superpole 2000, which is really just a long piece of bamboo with a string on the end, because Sean is too dumb to understand how fishing works. This is the side dish to the main course of idiocy Sean served up once a week for fifty million viewers, or however many watched the first season. You can't talk about Sean without talking about how Sean votes. First of all, like I said, Sean wants to be the hero. He does not want to be the person that ends anybody's game, because he feels that this could cause a black mark on his reputation; so he develops the alphabet strategy, because Sean is dumb. He brags up and down how this is the fairest way to do things; this misconception is amplified when Gervase wins immunity the episode that Sean would have voted for him. Gervase's win becomes something for Sean to point at and say "See! It's so fair! You can save yourself by winning immunity! It's so perf u guys!" Meanwhile everyone around him recognizes this strategy for the spineless, mindless, copout of a plan that it is, but Sean is too oblivious to notice how his attempts to remain heroic have backfired and made everybody in the game lose whatever respect they might have had for him. Because ... Sean is dumb. Second, Sean is oblivious to the four person alliance sitting right under his nose and running the game. Richard, Kelly, Rudy, and Sue vote out Dirk before Sean's eyes, which doesn't make sense to him, but hey whatever man. Then at the merge, they vote out Gretchen in the greatest Tribal Council ever. Afterward, Sean throws out the greatest line ever when he says "There was no reason, other than strategy, to vote for Gretchen" which just ... god I'm crying at the beauty of that line. Still, Sean is unconvinced there's an alliance, even when the rest of the Tagis pile onto the Greg vote that Sean advertises up and down the beach after Gervase wins immunity. (Sidenote: Jenna Lewis also votes for Greg at this TC, which is bizarre to me.) Then we reach the infamous J for Jenna vote. Jenna, Colleen, and Gervase BEG Sean for 3 days not to be an idiot and throw all four of their games away because he's too much of a pussy to stand for anything. Sean however is still convinced there is not a Tagi alliance and still married to his alphabet strategy. He swears up and down that Jenna will not receive a single other vote at Tribal Council that night ... oops. After Jenna leaves to go shoot some home movies, Sean realizes he's fucked up, but it's too late. The rest of the Tagis have successfully taken over, and the next three votes are clear as day, barring some K-Wig waffling. At the end of the day Sean ruins the season for Pagong and anyone rooting for Pagong (aka "All of America") because Sean ... is dumb. God these are really hurting now. Sean > Greg imo, but I can't complain. Solid write-up. |
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Austin
Prediction Writer
Posts: 139
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Post by Austin on May 28, 2015 22:23:17 GMT
I mean, this will probably be idol'd, and I understand why having read Slurm's write-ups and whatnot, but this is just a character who doesn't appeal to me, for whatever reason.
48. Sue Hawk (Borneo): Sue Hawk is an incredibly fascinating person to watch on television. It's interesting seeing someone so far out of their element, and so sheerly unique, on the show. She provides good confessional, some decent one-liners, an INCREDIBLE FTC speech, and she's the far more interesting half of her and Kelly's story. Again, if you want to read the positives about Sue, go to Slurm's write-up - he says it far better than I ever could.
So, from a purely intellectual point of view, I SHOULD like Sue. The thing is...I don't. It's one thing to appreciate what someone brings to the table, but if they don't have the sheer charisma to pull it off, I won't like it. There are mean-spirited moments (I really wanna dog one of these guys) which others find hilarious, but which just annoy me more than not. I feel like a lot of the Sue love comes from her FTC speech and burrowing deep into the story - but, for me at least, there's an issue in that I find her annoying. Kinda like what Don has with Sugar. I don't find the stuff I'm supposed to be laughing at hilarious (the search for tapioca is kinda funny, but honestly that's the only thing I even remember sorta liking) or even all that amusing.
I said that I wouldn't cut Sue until the Top 50, because I understand what she offers to Survivor lore, and her story is an interesting one. But Sue, the character going through said story, just didn't have the TV charisma to make that truly fascinating, for me at least.
This will probably be idol'd, and I get that - I just wanted to say my piece on this, because the adoration of Sue Hawk is something this community has that I just don't.
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tbird
Prediction Writer
Posts: 165
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Post by tbird on May 28, 2015 23:27:02 GMT
You're wrong. Idoled.
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Post by lexvandenberghe on May 29, 2015 0:44:48 GMT
I think the number is 46, not 48.
46. Gary HogeBOOM!!! (Guatemala) - Oh, man, what can I say about my favorite backup Cowboys QB to ever play Survivor? From his ridiculous attempts to deny who he really was, to his finding the very first HII and exposing Judd as a liar at the same time, to his complete and total pwnage of Steph during his last TC, Gary HogeBOOM!!! did nothing except make every scene he was in 1000 times better. God bless you, Mr. Hawkins.
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Post by Host Brian on May 29, 2015 4:35:30 GMT
45. Erik Reichenbach (Micronesia): Oh Erik. The shaggy-haired ice cream scooper from Hell, Michigan trotted out on the beach day one and practically jizzed when Ozzy Lusth ran out on the beach in front of him. After that, Erik was another member of the fan's tribe, and was on the right side of the votes when Joel decided to get out Mary and Mikey B for no reason at all. After the swap, Erik ends up on NuMalakal, where he got to hang out with his idol Ozzy. In the words of a great man, Ami and Amanda got their tits out, and Erik was present to watch his idol shower with two naked women. The Erik-Loves-Ozzy story continues but ends very quickly after the merge, where the love of Amanda's Lindsay Lohan's Erik's life gets blindsided. In honor of his fallen senpai, Erik wins the next two immunity challenges.
Then, disaster strikes for poor Erik. He votes for Amanda, who plays an idol and sends Alexis "That Girl" Jones out of the game. Now, Erik, being a naive but sweet kid, wants to make nice with Amanda and they go on reward together. This very episode, he tells Amanda, Cirie, Natalie, and Parvati that he's solid with all of them at different moments, even though he intends to reach the Final Three with Cirie and Parvati. However, Erik TELLS CIRIE THIS WHILE NATALIE IS STANDING NEARBY LISTENING. However, he wins another immunity and is safe, right? Right? After his 3rd immunity straight immunity win where he is obviously the most physical contestant left and can easily ride all the way to the Final Three Two, where he will be in front of a jury filled with people he bonded with and hadn't backstabbed, he seemed invincible. However, he had a weakness, and Cirie knew what it was. Cirie called her goons in for a meeting, and they decide to manipulate Erik into handing over immunity because Erik was naive enough to fall for that because he bought into the notion that he would "redeem" himself in front of the jury. In the end, Erik hands over immunity to Natalie, and the rest is history.
One final note. I wholeheartedly believe Erik voted for Amanda because 1. Ozzy was going to and 2. He saw her boobs.
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Post by Jonny "FIGGA" Fairplay on May 29, 2015 19:08:22 GMT
44. Rodger Bingham (Australia): Jesus, this one is tough. I think Rodger is probably the kindest person to ever play Survivor. Like, i fully believe the guy has not one bad bone in his body. He has that sweet little moment at the start where he finds his son's good luck message in his bible, then he has the awesome moment at the rock where he gets over his fear of heights and takes one for the tribe, and also pretty much everything involving him and Elisabeth, especially the heart shaped rock. Him asking to go out before Elisabeth so she can get some more money out of the whole experience is just the perfect end to one of the nicest guys to ever play Survivor.
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tbird
Prediction Writer
Posts: 165
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Post by tbird on May 31, 2015 16:06:24 GMT
Spreadsheet update: We were missing numbers 274 and 287 for a long time, so I bumped everybody up in the spreadsheet accordingly. This had the added effect of knocking NaOnka and Robb out of the top fifty, Jenna Lewis and Jaime Dugan out of the top 100, and so on. The next cut will be ranked number 45 |
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Post by lexvandenberghe on Jun 1, 2015 16:16:02 GMT
Kass?
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kass
Prediction Writer
Posts: 105
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Post by kass on Jun 1, 2015 17:06:45 GMT
I'M HERE SORRY
45.Tony Vlachos (Cagayan): I'm not a big Tony fan actually, but I definitely appreciate what he brought to the show. Hyper-paranoid Jersey Cop is fun. Tony also had some really fun moments too (talking llama being the main standout). I'd put him higher if I thought he was likable AND if he didn't suck so much airtime of the post merge (which wound up being the Tony and Spencer show). That being said, he's a pretty good winner, I guess. Even if he did happen to be my least favorite from F8 onward.
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tbird
Prediction Writer
Posts: 165
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Post by tbird on Jun 2, 2015 2:13:08 GMT
Kass knocked one of the three out that I was looking at, so this is really between two for me, but ...
44. JT Thomas (HvV): To understand JT in season 20, we need to understand JT in the context of Survivor history. JT played the first "perfect game" in Tocantins, receiving no votes during the first 38 days before receiving every jury vote. JT reached the top; there was no higher for him to climb.
Additionally, just keep in mind ... HvV was the first All Star season since All Stars, in which the winners and the notoriously good players were targetted unfairly. This actually plays into something that I think is BRILLIANT about HvV: By separating everybody according to a common trait shared by the ten of them, the show pushed the players into looking out for the tribe first before they worried about individuals. The Heroes in their gallant blue buffs wanted to prove the good guys can beat the bad guys, and the Villains in the devilish red wanted to prove that "good" is just a synonym for "stupid". This dichotomy, I feel, let the "dangerous" players like Parvati and JT stick around for longer than they normally would have, which led to a way more interesting season than Jenna Lewis Creates The Worst Boot Order Possible: The Season.
Okay so JT sticks around for a while and finds an idol. Now JT, knowing that he's gonna be a target come merge, decides to make a risky move and reach out to the unknown quantity: Russell Hantz. JT writes his letter, and we all know how that plays out, but I love to point out that ONLY JT would make that move. Only the one person who basically had claim to "Best Survivor Player of All Time" going into that season would have the balls to give away his idol to the other goddamn tribe. JT is basically on his second playthrough of the game, a New Game Plus of Survivor, and he's trying to go for the weird achievements like "Beat the game without killing any guards" or some shit. It blows up in his face, and the whole saga is really incredible. HvV JT is amazing.
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Austin
Prediction Writer
Posts: 139
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Post by Austin on Jun 2, 2015 4:54:13 GMT
I was hoping I could get to this cut before Tony went, because I wanted him to thwart her once again, but you just managed to beat me to it, Stephen. Having said that, my cut isn't changing:
43: Kass McQuillan (Cagayan): Kass is great. She's fantastic. She's one of the best post HvV characters, in my opinion. Having said that, there's really not a ton of those left, and I think there's issues with her that people tend to overlook.
First of all, for someone named Chaos Kass, her strategy for the most part was...rather bland. First vote, she tells J'Tia she's voting her, which is kinda fun, but more bad gameplay than like, chaotic. Kass did nothing shocking gameplay wise (except arguably the Garrett vote, which I attribute more to Tasha than her) until the Sarah vote - and even then she seemed fine riding that alliance as either a sixth or a goat. For someone who's name has effin' CHAOS in it, her voting was predictable - and anyone was really chaotic it was Tony, who I'd argue is the best post-HvV character aside from you know who.
Kass delivered in snark, and she delivered in causing chaos around camp. That was entertaining. It was also interesting to see how someone so intelligent could be so delusional and unself-aware - kinda like if Garrett lasted to Day 38. She insists to this day that she thinks she would've beaten Woo in the F2, and I find that hilarious. It does get grating sometimes, because while knowing her arrogance has an awesome downfall is nice, especially since her comeuppance comes from surfer dude WOO of all people, sometimes its a bit overbearing. Like, we get it. I guess there's a bit of a Kass litmus for me, but while I find her trolling fun from time to time, an overabundance of it with little gameplay to back it up just isn't that entertaining for me.
Kass is a great character, and I know there's a lot of cool things I haven't touched on - I'd just rather not go through my reccolaction of all her witty lines. (Although if someone could find a picture of KAss' hair looking like a Troll doll during the mud challenge, I'd be forever thankful.) The Survivor troll is a great character, and if someone idols this, I get it. But for me, I think she should go here.
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